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Commonly shortened to just Wyneries or referred to by its initials (RoW), the Republic of Wyneries
has an unrefined culture influenced equally by England, where the original settlers came from, and America,
where they were headed when shipwrecked in 1849. The people are fairly simple and unpretentious, but have a
great sense of "can-do." Despite their heritage, they do not think of themselves as English, British or
even American. They call themselves "Wynerians" (why-nur-ee-anz) and pride themselves on looking out for each
other. Shaped by an unusual history, personal sacrifice for the good of a larger body -- family, business,
neighborhood, nation -- is the model of virtue.
Despite an almost continuous chain of treaties with Britain since 1864, RoW is not a member of
the British Commonwealth.
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The official, social and common language is English. Immigrants are subjected to tremendous pressure to
learn the language, as almost nothing is advertised, posted or otherwise displayed in any other language.
The local accent was leaning toward Australian, but with the coming of American television in the late
1960s the accent has become more Californian.
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Wynerians have a great thespian tradition and enjoy the stage and screen alike. They prefer action over
drama ("Just do it...!"), suspense over horror ("Life is hard enough without being scared...."), comedy over
romance ("Laugh in public, romance in private...."). Despite the latter, they generally do not care for Benny
Hill or Woody Allen, and have mixed emotions about Mel Brooks. They tend to have difficulty sitting through
musicals and dance routines ("People don't act like that in real life...."), but Michael Flatley's Lord of
the Dance and River Dance were sell-outs. Go figure.
In painting and sculpture, they tend to be naturalists. Realist and impressionist exhibits are always
well attended, but Picasso and Jackson Pollock are largely ignored ("If I wanna see wierd I'll take drugs....").
Wynerians want to be inspired by art. There is no known ownership of a Grandma Moses or Red Skelton painting
in Wyneries.
In music, Wynerians lean toward that which soothes or makes them want to dance -- except for some reason
they have rejected any music with an accordian in it. Rock and roll and American country music outsell
everything else, but heavy metal and punk receive no air-time. Rap is simply not tolerated ("Rap is a scam
perpetrated by people who can't sing against people who are too uneducated to know that 'gun' and 'come' don't
rhyme...."). There are small markets in RoW for march, martial and New Age music.
Literature sells best in RoW in audiotape format ("People are too busy to 'read for enjoyment'...."). If
it doesn't "speak well" it won't sell well.
The basic building block in RoW is black basalt. Any architecture that works well with black rock is
appreciated and embraced.
Journalism is expected to be truthful. American television news broadcasts, especially CNN, are never
shown, quoted or sited in Wyneries ("Dan Rather and Wolf Blitzer are entitled to their opinions, but we want
the facts....").
Sporting events in which the individual is on his own (golf, horseshoes, bowling) are appreciated over
those in which you have to darned near set a world record to win, but teamwork is more highly prized in RoW.
Football (soccer), rugby and cricket are loved, with each city in RoW sporting its own teams. American
football is considered too slow ("Why do they need to huddle? Call an audible at the line and be done with
it....") and basketball has too many rules ("They need to take those whistles away from those guys with the
striped shirts...."). Baseball is, well, boring 98% of the time ("I'd rather watch curling; at least when
nothing is happening you can reflect on the strategies employed....").
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Wyneries' tradition of law stems both from it's English heritage and a respect for American law. It
departs from the latter on matters of frivolity. Caveat emptor still means something in RoW ("The
Surgeon General told us 45 years ago that cigarettes caused cancer; if you didn't quit and got cancer, then
shame on you....").
Any judge in RoW can be forced to stand a recall election and explain why he ruled a certain way. The
Wynerians do not like their principles diluted by judges. The unpopularity of a ruling is usually not an issue
if the ruling is logical and based on established legal principle. Legislating from the bench will get a judge
recalled in a Newhaven minute.
Juries are not allowed to dismiss evidence for reasons not dictated by law ("O. J. Simpson would have
met his maker long ago in Wyneries...").
In RoW, no one has the right to not be offended. However, the laws do protect the public against those
who would cry "fire" in the theater, those who would bait a confrontation with hate and those who would expose
those not seeking it to pornography.
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The Church of Wyneries replaced the Church of England in 1860, but freedom to practice any religion is
guaranteed as long as the religion does not sanction retaliating against those who do not embrace it.
Civil crimes cannot be perpetrated in the name of religion. If it's against the law in RoW, that means
it's not legal to do it. If a religion practices doing drugs or having sex with children, anyone is free to
practice it in another country.
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